A THINKING-BACK

the hours and minutes run parallel to my thoughts of you and i think of them as train tracks upon which maybe someday some train will reach some destination - a destination with an essence not glorified or saturated in expectation but simply fitting and true and lined in trees whose armor is the most amazing-smelling bark the world has ever had to wrap its nose around in order to sniff. i'd hang every notion i've ever contrived about the world from its branches and would have to tell you nothing of these things, for you would not ask, and the colors of these things would change along with the light of the morning and the setting glow that would relent and make way for the dominion of night. i would line up my reasons and toss them at you with no intent of harm just because all of them and all the reason i possess tells me they are yours to somehow understand. i've been to this place and in it, the train silences its whistle, and the tracks have no need for grease, and the conductor at last is able to rest his legs on soil instead of on machinery. i've been to this place because i have chosen it, and because i can fathom nothing preferable to it, and because it is the only place in which my self as a child might be just as content as my self as an old woman with birch-bark hair at last grey. i've been to this place because i want it to be a place that you, too, might want to dwell, and i've sewn flowers to the ground and i've tied stars up to the night and i've wrapped birds around the trees because the place i picture you most at home in is one containing all of these things and all of everything. you are all of everything to me and i only hope that my silence does not speak otherwise.

i can bring all the mountains to the banks of this place if some shelter is required; raise the elevation if some snow is desired, yet only in my will and only in my intent and not in anything tangible enough to stand above all in the world that is tangible. this is because the world is so piercing to the tongue that it humbles me, and i am just a representative of it. i want to represent all that i love in the world, and i want to give you all that i love in the world even if i am only a carrier of this. if needs be i will walk back down the tracks alone, but at least i will have taken you to such a place. 

you would find this place on your own, and this place is a mindset and a peace and a calmness and nothing that can be chopped or divided or written of because to write of it would be to write of all things. to write of you would be to write of every angle of the world. and yet all i have written about the world is all i have written about you, because the face of every mountain that hits my eye in a way to cause it to blink is the face of every encounter with you i have had. i would adorn the world to make it further remind me of your beautiful precious adorned soul. the river adorns my mind with santity and in sanctity i want the weave of your arms.